• Marketing on Fire. Wish We Were There.

    July 12th, 2012 / Comments (0)

    The inspiration to make something culturally and psychologically strong enough exists when you get back to what blew your mind.

    For just a moment, you’re a kid in 1970s suburban Los Angeles, ok? Pedal your bicycle to the big Topanga Canyon Boulevard record store. See what I saw: an epic, billboard-sized reprographic image of Pink Floyd’s album, Wish You Were Here, bolted to the side of the record emporium and taking up huge amounts of sky. Big record company marketing budgets could afford to blow a lot of minds in those days.

    It was a mysteriously huge, Godzilla-sized piece of pop-surrealism that captured my imagination: A man on fire obliviously shakes hands with another suited man. It’s a random meeting in an abandoned soundstage backlot, like a dream in constant production. The handshake, a blithe and obligatory social grace, appears to hide the true burning intensity of ulterior motives. Or is that something about the fear of getting burned?

    This was all the proof I needed for what I had suspected in my young mind all along: People are weird. And deep and funny. And this was weird, deep, and funny marketing.

    I got lost in a new kind of alchemy, a mixture of what I both did and did not understand about this album cover. I actually liked not understanding the imagery. There’s power in mystery. Though I knew the marketing for this album was about dreams. Not Disney-esque life goal dreams, not those dreams, but the unsettling world of dreaming. And was this a billboard for an uncomfortable dream? Pink Floyd knew how to show you how dreams really feel. That’s what they do. Later, I’d find out that they made music, too.

    Something else that astounded me—although I didn’t know how to name what it was in my monosyllabic, child mind. I can find the word now. The imagery was alluringly unwholesome.

    Unwholesome? Yes. Every bit of product marketing I had ever seen in my limited time on earth seemed to dance a giddy dance of the effusive, wholesome-hypnotic, the good—and good for you—wash of the brain. Secret ingredient: sugar. (Or, substitute the word, trustworthiness).

    This album cover on the other hand, was marketing that used dream language to call no bullshit, and for me, great marketing began with that album cover.

    Eventually, I saw how this imagery shared the same surreal power of the Buddhist monks who had self-immolated in protest of the Vietnam War. Add the imagery of Rene Magritte’s Victorian men floating in the sky, perhaps. That was the era. The era of the inner mind meets social upheaval.

    Artwork for Wish You Were Here had a power that purposely reached for what was wrong and yet beautiful about the world.

    Like most album covers produced during that slim psychedelic and post psychedelic creative era, meaning and hidden meaning trumped safeness, and it’s difficult to not regard album artwork created of that ilk as a true slice of cultural honesty through the language of symbolic imagery and playfulness.

    Chances are, like me, you’d recall the marketing you probably don’t regard as actual marketing, but as something meaningful enough to feel and recall on a deeper level.

    That might require you going back in time. When you were a kid. When you were raw-minded. Re-experience what affected you, the unspeakably good montage intro or trailer to a film, the world of colors in the Maoist propaganda poster you saw on Canal Street in NYC, an album cover you forgot you loved, a commercial that rocked your world, a PSA that pulled like a maddened emotion, desperate to free itself from the leash of the everyday.

    That’s where the inspiration to make something culturally and psychologically strong enough exists, because it’s still living psychologically and culturally in your mind. That is, if you believe that marketing is actually part art, part storytelling, part psychological event, and is powerful enough to act as a sociological medium that does something amazing.

    1975, Wish You Were Here, Pink Floyd.
    Album Art by the amazing agency, Hipgnosis.

    Joseph Coplans is owner of Denver's Ink Stain Inc, a strategic messaging firm in Denver.

  • Getting the Most Out of Your Internship

    January 31st, 2012 / Comments (0)

    Giving students a jump-start to their career, college programs provide many aspiring creatives an opportunity to get some real-life experience through an ad agency internship. This is when young creatives learn fast that working in the biz is nothing like the textbook or bubble test said. It's actually much more interesting and fun. But knowing what it takes to make the leap from unpaid (or poorly paid) volunteer to a junior level employee who earns a paycheck starts by knowing what to soak up during that two-three month adventure.

    Here are the seven things I think are most important for interns learn:

    1. If You Don't Ask, No One Will Help You. 
    Not the last thing a creative will do, but low on the list is checking on an intern. Many professional creatives are wrapped up in their own world of "make the logo bigger" crises. Don't be afraid to bug someone or ask them to get coffee, lunch or an after-work beer just to talk shop. They'll probably welcome the break. The result is that creative pro will label you as a driven individual. Should a higher-up ask about you, he/she will now have something positive to say. During your chat, put your ideas on the chopping block, ask "why" and milk his or her mind for all it's worth.

    2. Go To Meetings That Have Nothing To Do With You.
    Meetings ... boring, yes. Valuable for an intern, definitely. You'll pick up lingo and understand the DNA of the agency. You'll also discover why certain people are stressed and why so many agency workers drink moderate to heavily. There will be presentation documents, creative briefs, short brainstorms and client feedback. These are all things you'll never see in a classroom setting.

    3. Your A+ Thesis Paper Has Nothing To Do With Creative Copywriting.
    My first creative director told me: "Clients don't pay you to write or for me to design. They pay us for our minds." It's true. Think about it this way: everyone thinks they can write and/or design (until they actually have to). But thinking creatively on a highly strategic level is a skill few possess. It's what separates us from our clients and their brand team - we are their brand's thought leaders. It's not about writing a clever headline with a pretty photo, rather it's about writing a clever headline and designing an ad that meets six brand objectives while still clearly communicating to a human being. Forget writing essays and designing your cousin's band poster, the creative side of the biz is based on intelligently communicating with people in creative ways. Learn that or at least show a spark, and you'll be valuable.

    4. Jump In On A Pitch.
    Many ad students get to participate in the AAF competition through "Campaigns" class. They have four months to come up with a large creative presentation for a national client, where they'll compete against other college student teams. In the agency world, that same process happens in about 10-14 days (sometimes less) instead of 120 days. You're guaranteed to hear the word "RFP" (request for proposal) while interning. When you do, do what you can to get involved. Even if it's just gathering photos, proofing or binding. Pay attention to how the team brainstorms. Study how the copywriter writes up the ideas to be sold. How the art directors design comps to communicate the idea. Figure out why the creative director and account director wanted it in certain order. It may not be a flawless process and final product. But this is your chance to finally see how the sausage is made. "Just Do It" wasn't sold as just a clever line - the agency went through a pitch process, creating a strategic deck book that made the idea of that famous line shine.

    5. Keep Building Your Book, Even If It's Not "Real" Work.
    In some situations, it can be difficult as an intern to truly own a project. If you have that chance, save every PDF and file, and make it the showpiece of your book. Unfortunately for many, you'll dabble here and there, but may feel uncomfortable claiming a finished piece as your own. Don't let that stop you -- now that you understand a brand better than ever, go ahead and design your own campaign. Show what you can do with total creative control. Have a reason for everything you do and say in the campaign. In your upcoming interviews, creative directors are going to be looking to see that you can think and execute creatively and strategically. The ad doesn't have to be printed in Time Magazine. Good creative is good creative.

    6. Be Digital Or Be Left Behind.
    You know the vehicles: Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn. Now get active and learn everything you can about them. Pay attention to what brands and marketers are doing with them. Connect with others in the industry through it. Know how to talk about social media in simple terms. Need practice? Try explaining Twitter to your grandparents or crazy uncle. While interning, ask if you can participate in speaking for the agency through their social media channels. Contribute to the agency blog. Be seen, be heard and know what you're talking about.

    7. Be A Writer Or Designer. Never Both.
    If you say you can do it all, no one will believe you. If you really can excel at both writing and designing, more power to you. But for most, it's crucial to pick one path and become as great as you can be at it. Creative directors and agency heads want to know that you're "our writer guy" or "our design gal." Don't get me wrong, having cross-over skills is great -- just don't sell yourself as such. At least until you reach the level of Creative Director.

    With the ultimate goal is landing that first job shortly after the internship, remember the process is all about luck, timing, skills, your book, drive, resiliency and intangibles... plus a bunch of other things.

    Good luck and let me know what you think. Like the Dude says, everything in this post is just, like my opinion, man.

    ---

    Eammon is a copywriter who's worked over eleven years in the ad agency business. He's won a few ADDYs, judged a few shows and worked on a variety of national clients. Find out all about him on his LinkedIn profile and feel free to follow him on Twitter.

    Linkedin link:
    http://www.linkedin.com/in/eammonazizi

    Twitter link:
    www.twitter.com/eammon

  • Trends of 2012: Solitude

    January 23rd, 2012 / Comments (0)

    The “always on” culture that has abruptly emerged as the new norm is here to stay for some time. A recent piece from The New York Times demonstratively stated, “Solitude is out of fashion,” elaborating with analysis of the trending open-space work environments and team-based strategies. This contemporary approach is counter to extensive research touting the benefits of privacy in creative thinking. This culture has been fiercely fueled by the (my) millennial generation and has gained significant acceptance by baby boomers. We have grown up in an age of digital collaboration; now we’re applying these same tendencies to the office place despite making ourselves susceptible to real-life distractions.

    We all know the natural, yet rude, tendency to prioritize instant information from our smartphones over the people actually in the room. This was never more evident to me than Christmas this year. I never thought I would see the day my parents were playing Words with Friends before me. I certainly didn’t expect they would become addicted to the game instantaneously. Prior to this, my mom was notorious for leaving her cell phone in the bottom of her purse - for days on end. To her, it was a device to make calls; not for her to be alert for incoming calls. It’s becoming ever-apparent those days are over and never to be seen again. She’s texting, emailing, playing games, reading books, and verifying bets with my father through Google.

    Despite the added convenience at our fingertips, it can become overwhelming – like a menu at The Cheesecake Factory. Thus, people are increasingly more than willing to pay a premium for solitude – the ability to escape the constant draining buzz. Trend Watching explains,

    This isn’t about consumers rejecting everything that brought them to the city, but about a temporary breather. Remember, no trend applies all of the time. People will forever crave the excitement and choice available in cities; yet still want to escape for a moment.

    In 2011 some brands were ahead of the curve in offering a moment of solace to their consumers. These early adopters compete in industries where such services are appreciated due to the high stress in their corresponding environments. Some examples:

    • In July 2011, Telia, a Swedish telecom provider, launched a free app that enabled customers to disable internet for set period of time at home. They also set up internet-free zones in several public locations across Sweden. (Trendwatching.com)

    • In September 2011, at Moscow’s Sheremetyevo International Airport, Sleepbox launched a small self-contained cabin designed to give users a quiet place to get some rest. (Trendwatching.com)

    • From July to September 2011, the Marriott Renaissance Pittsburgh Hotel offered “Zen and the Art of Detox” – a weekend package that obliged visitors to surrender any digital devices when checking-in. Also, rooms were stocked with books instead of televisions. (Trendwatching.com)

    Brands that, by virtue of their product or service, must compete in a mentally fatiguing space, can embrace the opportunity by providing a counter experience like the examples above. However, most brands do not need to provide such overt forms of relief; they can bake it in to the actual product. Pandora Radio is an example of a highly appreciated, passive user interface. Listeners have one less thing to think about as the stream is designed to anticipate their tastes. Pinterest, with an extremely intuitive user experience and strong social integration, provides a similar release. The mindless nature of pinning offers a pleasurable distraction from daily stressors.

    Facebook, in the short term, offers a similar mental release. In fact, thirty-year psychology veteran, Susan Weinschenk, found that the brain releases dopamine upon receiving notifications of Facebook updates or status changes. In contrast, Facebook has become an eclectic badge of social currency - check-in’s, relationships, flattering pictures, and job title changes; thus truly adding up to social noise. As we become desensitized to social updates we look for other sources of immediate reward like Twitter, Reddit, and sites like Wimp and YouTube.

    At the agency I work for, we have a former Buddhist monk who spent six years on a silent sabbatical in Burma. You read that right…he didn’t speak for six years. He trains employees to practice mindfulness and stress-relieving routines they can implement on a daily basis. In one session, he explained that humans are naturally hard-wired to respond in a “fight or flight” manner. This was an essential tool for survival when humans first roamed the earth. Despite our evolution over time, we still react in a similar manner to alerts, texts, emails, calls, green lights, our significant other calling our name, and so on. We’ve been conditioned to believe that an immediate response is expected, and a delayed response has become an indication of a lower priority. In this new social norm we’ve set ourselves up to strive, long-term, toward solitude…or pay a lofty price to have it right here, right now, between our 2:00 and 2:45 meetings. Regardless, this will be something to watch in 2012 – an opportunity to make your brand the hero.

    As an account manager in Boulder, Dorsey has worked on global and national campaigns for brands like Microsoft and Groupon. Read more of his posts where he blogs at And this....

  • Here’s a Radical Idea. How About Being Honest?

    November 14th, 2011 / Comments (2)

    “That the best you got Felix? Not very radical is it?”

    Well, it’s not a new idea. Bill Bernbach started the whole “honesty in advertising” thing way back in the sixties, and then, it really was radical. The very idea that you would devote a full-page ad to a car that was inferior, or a “lemon,” well that was shocking.

    Back then, traditional car ads went on and on about how awesome the cars were. Any flaws were overlooked. Any problems were locked away in deep, dark dungeons, never to be talked about again. The ads painted picturesque Norman Rockwell images of nuclear families, in pastel tones, all ready to take a drive after a good ol’ steak ‘n’ taters dinner. Sure, the husband was beating his wife and kids behind closed doors, drinking bourbon and fingerbanging the secretary at work, but that’s all laundry that wasn’t aired. Happy, blissful, unfettered motoring was all that needed to be talked about.

    So, the sheer nerve of saying “hey, some of these cars have problems, so we recall them” was mind blowing. It was…honest. You know, not lying, not “exaggerating the benefit,” but really saying something pure. And the public lapped it up. They loved being treated with that kind of respect. Volkswagens could not be built fast enough. Who’d a thunk it?

    Then, Avis came out (courtesy of Bill B.) saying “we’re number 2, so we try harder.”

    “Number two? Are you fucking insane? Don’t ever admit that, it will never wor…oh, it worked. Shit. Wow. What the hell is going on?”

    Honesty, for a time, was in. It was bold, fresh, different and absolutely wonderful. Even now, I bathe in the glory of those ads. If I was slightly more perverted I’d rub one out to them, but even I have my sick and sordid limits.

    Here’s the tragedy, though. Honesty is still a radical idea, right now. In fact, it may be even more radical that it was back in Bill’s day.

    Can you imagine, for one tender fucking moment, that those DDB ads would make it past the uptight, creatively-baron boardrooms of today’s neurotic, moneygrubbing corporations? There are shareholders to please. There are corporate standards (oxymoron) to uphold. There are lawyers to contend with. Think about it.

    “Christ, what if we put out an ad saying we have to recall some cars, and then the cars that make it to the showroom end up having a mechanical failure? We’re wide open for a goddamned lawsuit, we’ll be ruined. Which twat came up with this stupid fucking idea anyway?! Fire this old-school fucktard, hire an art director to show a pretty picture of the car, throw in a pithy headline if you must – it’s ok to stare – and slap our logo in the corner. That’s it! Anything else is leaving us wide open. Now, I have an enormous bonus check to deposit so leave me the fuck alone.”

    Take a quick look at adsoftheworld.com and scour the hundreds of pages of ads. When you find one that’s even trying to be honest, jot it down. Actually, count them on your fingers, you’ll only need one hand anyway. And chances are, that ad is for a smaller business that’s trying to make a splash and doesn’t have corporate lawyers leeching the life out of it yet.

    There was an ok-ish movie made in 1990 called “Crazy People.” The premise was great, the execution not so good. It starred Dudley Moore (listen to Derek & Clive if you want to know the real Dudley) as a frustrated creative who was sick of the glossy ads that said nothing. So, he started producing honest ads. He wanted to level with America. There were gems like:

    “Buy Volvos. They’re Boxy, But They’re Good.”

    “Forget France. The French Can Be Annoying. Come to Greece. We’re Nicer.”

    “Quaker Oats. Does This Cereal Taste Great? Who Knows, But The Box Is Cute.”

    “Jaguar. For Men Who’s Like Hand Jobs From Beautiful Women They Hardly Know.”

    What happens next? They have him committed to a lunatic asylum, but somehow his ads get printed anyway, and the public goes nuts for them. Like selling out of everything, empty shelves nuts. And so, he works on more “true” ads with all the drooling vegetables in the lunatic asylum, because it takes morons to write true ads. Here’s one:

    “Porsche. It’s a Little Too Small To Get Laid In. But You Get Laid The Minute You Get Out.”

    And eventually, they do an ad for Sony that has the following script:

    “The Japanese. They’re short, so their eyes are closer to the components than many other nationalities. Caucasians are too tall and gangly. Look how far away the Caucasian workers eyes are from the integrated circuitry. That’s why Sony products are better. SONY. Because Caucasians Are Just Too Damn Tall.”

    Can you imagine, for a second, what would happen if an ad like that ran? Well, maybe not as blatantly racist, but with the honesty of the Volvo or Porsche ad? Aside from the insane amount of free PR it would get, it would be taking a stand in a place that no corporation ever goes. And as Dave Trott has said often, getting noticed is way more important than an ad being liked.

    How about some honest ads for products you and I all know well? Here are a few that probably go too far, but…

    Want some more? How about…

    Toyota. How Big A Discount Will It Take To Make You Forget About Our Runaway Cars?

    Levis. Give Your Fat Ass A Chance To Look Less Fat.

    Obsession. Smell Like The Attractive Woman You’ll Never Be. It’s Dark In The Nightclubs Anyway.

    Well, ok, too far. But what’s better? Blatantly misleading and grossly exaggerating the few benefits of the product, or pushing something truthful? And these days, the truth would stick out like an uncut dick at a Jewish nudist colony.

    If getting noticed is key, be honest.
    If being memorable is the issue, be honest.
    If customer loyalty is needed, be honest.

    I think a sharp, but cleverly worded, dose of the truth could really change things for the better. Honest.

    Felix Unger is a site contributor, ranter and curmudgeon for The Denver Egotist. He’s been in the ad game a long time, but he’s still young enough to know he doesn’t know everything. If he uses the f-bomb from time-to-time, forgive him. Sometimes, when you're ranting, no other word will do. In his spare time, he does not torture small animals. He has been known, on occasion, to drink alcohol by the gallon. Do as he says, not as he does.

  • A Creative's Guide to In-House Survival

    November 11th, 2011 / Comments (4)

    Let's review a job choice many creatives face at one point or another in their professional lives: agency vs. in-house. Both have their merits and drawbacks, here's a short list.

    Agency:

    • Creative atmosphere
    • Creative people
    • loose (or lack of) a dress code
    • No urinalysis
    • Attractive account executives
    • Variety of work
    • Fast pace

    In-House:

    • Better health benefits
    • Higher compensation packages
    • 401k
    • Job Security
    • 8 hour work day
    • Single client focus

    This is a general list, some agencies of course have terrific benefits packages and some in-house departments work long hours. There are some creatives who would rather roll in honey and sit on an ant hill than spend a single day in a corporate environment, and others who prefer it.

    The following tips are directed towards that poor creative in the middle, the one who longs for the creative environment of the agency, but for some reason or another (usually due to not practicing safe sex at one point in their lives) needs the corporate in-house gig and all its family-friendly attributes.

    IN-HOUSE SURVIVAL:

    1. There's a line of nervous people above you who need to give an okay on even the simplest of tasks, for instance buying a stock photo or even downloading a necessary tool can take days to accomplish.

    PRO TIP: THE ADMIN IS YOUR BEST FRIEND

    The administrative assistant runs the show, if you get on this person's bad side you might as well quit. They have access to everything, know all the dirt and can sign the VP's signature perfectly. Admin = shortcut

    2. Inevitably someone above you is, at least in their own mind, a perfectly qualified creative director and they will make changes to your work every time you present it. This is one of those "nature of the beast" facts of life for a creative, accept it and be thankful you're at least a creative in that sea of cubicles.

    PRO TIP: MAKE THEM THINK IT'S THEIR IDEA

    The human ego is a funny thing, like a pit bull at times, particularly in the corporate environment. If you feed it, it won't attack you. When presenting your concepts try and use phrases like "Kind of like we were talking about..." or "This is directly inspired from your idea..." they eat that stuff up like Beggin' Strips if you do it correctly.

    3. Anyone above director is absolutely never wrong. In fact, you're lucky to get a director to admit their mistakes, above that don't even think about it. There's an "above reproach" attitude among the executive, it is incredible to experience actually if you aren't used to it.

    PRO TIP: CYA

    Cover yo' ass Mr. or Mrs. Creative. This applies only as far as your risk tolerance. An "ask for forgiveness later" attitude is usually the right one to have in the in-house environment, but don't push it. When the sh*t rolls downhill it rolls fast. Keep copies of everything, even the invoices you shouldn't have coerced the admin into making. Print out emails where you've been praised and print out emails where you've had to explain a decision you've made, keep a file.

    Finally and this isn't a pro tip, just common sense: Big brother is watching and often times reading your emails. Be careful, play the game and enjoy the free donuts and coffee while you figure out how to make enough money as a freelance designer to put in your two weeks, dreaming is free.

  • ARE WE ALL BREAKING THE FIRST RULE OF ADVERTISING?

    November 2nd, 2011 / Comments (0)

    As I sat drinking chamomile tea on the highest peak of Mount Kanchenjunga, with only a few goats and some hardened dung for company, I got to thinking.

    Man, I am really…fucking…bored.

    So I am back from my crusty hiatus, which was designed to calm me the fuck down. And I have to say, I still have a lot of problems with the current state of advertising. Too many, in fact, to list in this one post; so consider this the return, for now, of your unfriendly neighborhood adman.

    (Oh, and if that was an incorrect use of the semi-colon, try and remember that I really don’t give a shit. Jesus, chamomile tea isn’t all it’s cracked up to be).

    Anyway, here’s what I’m starting to see, and it’s spreading like an STD in a Bangkok whorehouse. We’re treating our audience(s) like complete morons.

    One of the biggest rules of advertising, some say the first rule, is that you should never underestimate the customer. Don’t speak down to them. Don’t think they won’t get it. Don’t assume that you’re smart and they’re dumb (even though, sometimes, it’s true).

    And yet, like a strange echo of Mike Judge’s seminal movie, “Idiocracy,” we’re creating (and re-creating) the advertising equivalent of “Ow, My Balls.”

    Take a look at some of the ads that have graced our airwaves, billboards and magazines recently. It’s moving beyond the territory of bizarre, challenging and surreal, and it’s now just fucking inane. I know Dave Trott has said that it’s more important to be 'noticed and irrelevant' than 'relevant and unnoticed,' but holy fuck this is going too far.

    Let’s start with JC Penney. The basic message behind this one is “hey old guys, you hate ads, but take a look at these crappy clothes and you can see some tits and ass at the same time! Boner time, it’s Phoebe Cates from the 1980s! Takes you back, right?!”

    It’s not only insulting to the intelligence of the most sexually-repressed, alcohol-drenched, brain-dead jock, it’s also confusing as fuck. Take one semi-naked chick from an 80s movie (Phoebe Cates is almost 50 for Christ’s sake), mix it with some bland clothes that even Ned Flanders would think twice about, and then target men who shop at JC Penney.

    They may as well have come out and said “Hey old fella, like naked chicks? Buy these clothes!”

    JC stands for Jesus Christ by the way. As in “Jesus Christ, how’d you manage to piss off women and men at the same time and not sell any more product?”

    What’s worse is the script. It starts out with the mother of all straw man arguments:

    “JC Penney understands that you don’t like advertising for clothes. Who does?”

    Really? I’d say ads for clothes are usually more entertaining than ads for most other products or services. Levis, Victoria’s Secret, Nike, they usually grab your attention in a way that’s not a teeth-itching Progressive Insurance commercial. Are people really complaining about this? Well, let’s assume they are. The pointless frontman continues:

    “Tell you what, though. If you look at these smart fashion choices from Van Heusen, we’re gonna show you this…”

    Cut to the infamous Phoebe Cates pool shot.

    “…that way, everyone wins.”

    Oh how wrong you are. By the way, “smart fashion choices” sounds about as hip and cool as, well, JC Penney. And we close with “JC Penney, it is seriously hot in here.”

    The stench from that line would gag a maggot.

    Want another example?

    How about this one for Old Spice?

    Let me wait a second while I let the murmurs and grumblings die down. “Did he just say Old Spice?” I did indeed. Because as much as I enjoyed, and loved, the initial spots and the bizarreness of the Terry Crews follow-ups, they at least had a thread that tied them to the product. The man your man could smell like? Yes. Odor-blocking as powerful as me? Yes. But Ray Lewis saying he needs Old Spice Swagger to be an athlete, and it’s “like a fantasy but real,” well, now the creatives are just taking the piss.

    Here’s another campaign that bugs the living shit out of me. Diesel has always been known for some pretty obscure ad campaigns. It’s more permissible with fashion as you’re trying to build a brand that people want to wear, and be associated with, so there’s a lot of wiggle room here. But the “Be Stupid” campaign?

    We are now celebrating low IQs? “Hey fucktard, show your tits to a security camera, and do it in a pair of $200 jeans made by starving kids earning 18 cents a day.”

    Maybe that’s what they mean. "Oy, dipshit. Yeah, you! Be stupid, spend all of your cash on our jeans. Awesome bro! Or dudette!"

    Other ads show a “cool dude” with his head stuck in a mailbox, or some vapid tart in a bikini snapping a photo of her snatch while a lion gets ready to make a meal of another clueless fashion model. It looks like being cool means you’re a fucking idiot. Oh a risk taker, sure. But a moronic one.

    I could go on, but why give further attention to any more of this horseshit? We’re all consumers as well as advertisers. Is this how we view ourselves? Are we avid viewers of The Jersey Fucking Shore? Would we buy a pair of Diesel jeans because it’s cool to have the common sense of a house plant? Would we buy Old Spice because “umm, de funny ad wiv de big man on de big bird made me laugh in my belly momma,” or are we just a little smarter than that?

    If this is the level we’re playing down to, we’ve only got ourselves to blame. We wonder why people don’t read copy any more, or want to know more about the product, and then we proudly throw this vomit out there. Sometimes, it wins awards. Wrangler jeans for We Are Animals. Need I say more?

    Let’s all raise the IQ of our advertising. We don’t have to use 14-syllable words, but we also don’t need to aim everything at the lowest common denominator. Let's steer this ship in the right direction.

    OK, it’s time for my shot of Thorazine. But I’ll be back when it wears off.

    Felix Unger is a site contributor, ranter and curmudgeon for The Denver Egotist. He’s been in the ad game a long time, but he’s still young enough to know he doesn’t know everything. If he uses the f-bomb from time-to-time, forgive him. Sometimes, when you're ranting, no other word will do. In his spare time, he does not torture small animals. He has been known, on occasion, to drink alcohol by the gallon. Do as he says, not as he does.

  • You and Your Meaningless Career in Advertising

    September 21st, 2011 / Comments (0)

    If you ask a random sample of advertising people what would make their lives more fulfilling, a good chunk of them will say the following: “I wish I had a more meaningful outlet for applying my creativity.” It’s a predictable answer, but a telling one, and an even more predictable side effect of a career devoted to consumerism.

    But despite ad folk’s general commiseration over the shortage of meaning in our day to day lives, only a handful of us are actively devoting a portion of our creative guts to the general betterment of mankind. Lately I’ve been wondering about this, because with so much apparent interest in making the world a better place, the number of people really doing it doesn’t seem to add up. What’s holding us back?

    It’s not a lack of problems, that’s for sure. No one spending 80 percent of their day on a computer can hide from the subpar-ness of some choices we made in the last 100 years, and fresh side effects of these decisions surface daily. But as our definition of ‘social bad’ continues to broaden, it’s curious to note that the definition of ‘social good’ is stubbornly refusing to keep up, with its everyday interpretation more or less hitting a hard wall at helping malnourished kiddos in remote Kenya find water, food or medicine.

    There’s a weird battle that pops up when attempting to modernize this definition, one that‘s potentially at the root of why so many of us swiftly abandon our inclination to get involved. It’s a competition of causes; a man made measure of what, exactly, counts as making a difference. I’m not sure what the point of the debate is, but I'm convinced that its core holds nothing better than a crappy sense of self-righteousness, born from finding the most CNN-ready crime against humanity and claiming that problem as your own. No more hunger by by 2020? Sure, that counts. Rounding up all your credit card purchases to give to charity? Eh, that’s not social good. That’s white guilt.

    Besides the obvious silliness of turning the social good space into yet another ego battle, the bummer is that this “problem elitism” is polarizing enough to turn 'normal' people off from getting involved. Not to mention the real bummer, which translates to a major loss in the amount of good stuff getting done, period. After all, if there’s a barrier to entry for saving the world, how can we possibly maximize the earth-redeeming potential for all skill sets, including (and perhaps especially) creative ones?

    I’m sure there’s more reasons why ad people are only wading in the world of meaningful things. But in effort to debunk at least one of those reasons, I've gotta clear the air about this one in particular: Social good is not a world owned by saints and martyrs, nor is it defined by the scale of the problem you’re hoping to solve. Social good is everybody's, and it happens each time we do something a little better, a little greener, and a little more considerately than the people before us.

    It has to be. Because the truth is, we’re long past the point where problems are confined to third world countries. Most of our most pressing, more localized issues aren’t things that can be solved by a team of lawyers specializing in social justice, they’re just things our forefathers did wrong the first time. It’s almost fair to call them White People Problems, because we’re certainly responsible for their existence.

    So what is fair cause for white guilt? Definitely not a hesitancy to relocate to Africa. But if you’re staying mum while your print production team repeatedly selects toxic processes and materials over greener ones, well, maybe you should speak up. If your client’s seeking new packaging but you’re not strongly recommending biodegradable options, maybe you should start researching those alternatives. If something of local significance has been bringing up some questions for you, maybe you should write an open letter, blow it up, and wheat paste it on your garage door. If you're not doing those things and you're whining about your meaningless existence in advertising, well, maybe you should shut the fuck up.

    Yes we’re running out of water. Yes we’re running out of clean air. But you know what else a lot of people suspect we’re running out of? Creativity. And that’s exactly what we need to rethink what’s broken. So get off your butt. Drop the guilt, grab a White Person Problem and start using a fraction of what you’ve got - anything you’ve got - to make it go away. That’s all it takes. And if the 'social good' people give you hell for helping from the comfort of your air conditioned office - just tell them it's social good enough. And maybe ask what the hell they're doing back in the US. Slackers.

    Carmel Hagen is a communication and experience designer at COMMON, a creative community for rapidly prototyping social change.

  • Free Advice on a Freelance Life – Part 3

    August 1st, 2011 / Comments (0)

    That two minute clip might not seem like it has a lot to do with the dynamics of a design – client relationship but believe me, it does. Client work can be profitable, rewarding and can lead to a long and healthy career in design but for every story of the perfect client, someone who loves every first draft and pays up front – there are 5 stories of angry emails, violence, voodoo dolls hexes and worse – lawyers.

    So how do you do it? How do you maintain success and minimize client battles? Well it all starts with a pep rally.

    In the video, both sides were attempting to help but unknowingly they were working against each other. This is a very real danger at the beginning of a new client relationship. From the minute a client makes an inquiry – you have this dynamic of two people on opposites sides of the desk, looking out for their self interest. You have to agree to terms on cost, deadline, deliverables, creative control and a slew of other things that can take its toll if one party feels the other one is being unreasonable. The trick is for both parties to recognition that the battle isn’t between the two people at the table, but rather it is the client versus his market. Essentially, reminding each other you are on the same team. Think of it like the NBA or NFL Draft – when a team makes it’s Lottery selection, on goes the hat, there is the jersey with the name and number already on it. It’s team time. Sure there is still salary terms on the table but they are setting the tone up front that we are on the same team. Not only does that attitude keep hostility low, but it can ultimately earn you more liberties with the project. As soon as the project is a go – have a pep rally, throw your arm around the client, let them know its you two against the world, and we are going to destroy the competition.

    Had the detective taken the time to explain the direction up front, problems would have been avoided. With client work, a common complaint is that they don’t like the direction, and want something hideous or off target and you as a designer are forced to sully your good reputation and use Arial or commit some other heinous design sin. A lot of these problems can be avoided if you take the time to clue in your client as you go. Talk to the them about type, why did you use that font, those colors, that image. Keep them in the loop and give them ammo to take back to their team so when they present your design, they have all these brilliant and insightful points to make. Sure, sometimes they are going to take the credit for your genius but at the end of the day, if you get to launch the website you wanted to build – so what. Communicate direction as you works through it, not when it’s a completed piece.

    Ask questions, make statements, never take anything for granted. Throughout the desk moving debacle, no one bothered to utter directions, make updates, ask questions, manage what was happening. It was just push, push some more, and push even harder. You can never give too much insight as to where a project is at. And actually, I’ve found that when there ISN’T a solid update to make, and its been a little bit, it makes me work that much harder to move the project to a place where we can demonstrate some substantial gains.

    So learn from my boys on the Wire up there and do your best to be on the same team, keep the client updated as to the “why’s “ of the project – and don’t let managing expectations be something you do at the beginning and the end; instead encourage an on going dialogue with agreed upon goals and updates.

    A Life In Color

  • Free Advice on a Freelance Life – Part 2

    June 21st, 2011 / Comments (0)


    Money Makes the World Go Around (And Keeps You In United Pixelwork Swag)

    Congrats! You followed the first part of my advice – you dated your clients and now
    you got a few steady gigs keeping you in the latest Tom’s and United Pixelworkers’
    Tees (Jessica Hisch FTW). So – what to do with that money? Glad you asked.

    First thing you need to do is keep track of it. There is no shortage of bookkeeping
    software available to the up and coming designer. Some popular examples include
    Harvest, Freshbooks and Mac Freelance but personally, I prefer the simplicity and ease of use that comes from a spreadsheet document. Either way, tracking what clients owe, those who have paid and those who are being dead beats is vital to keeping the lights on and stress low. Chase Jarvis says the best camera is the one on you – Kyle says the best bookkeeping system is the one that you’ll use. Make this happen.

    Another key move is to become incorporated. In this day and age people due some
    crazy things when it comes to business. Who knows if that photo you included in
    that fly ass print campaign was actually paid for by the client or did he stiff the
    photographer. Now Mr. Shutterbug eyeballs his fantastic photo all over town, and
    is looking to get paid. He cops a lawyer, has a copyright and marches the client AND
    you into court. It’s a stretch for sure and we’d like to believe we’re smart enough to
    avoid scenarios like the reality is they do happen and innocent people wind up in
    the lurch for big legal fees. Protect yourself and your personal assets by the shilling
    out the $65 required by the state of Arizona to become a legal entity – keeping your
    personal belongings out of the reach of angry photographers, disgruntled clients
    and anyone else making eyes on your modest (but developing) fortune.

    This next tip isn’t so much a business school rule as much as it is a personal
    experience one – make your deposits in person and make it a point to say hello
    to your banker. One of the first items on your to-do list needs to be opening a
    business checking account and when you do, make friends with the banker. By the
    time you are done with the enrollment process you should be on first name. If the
    sign up went smoothly, grab their card and email them to say thanks again. Build
    on that initial rapport by walking in your deposits, saying hello when you can and
    generally keeping your presence in their mind. Why? Banks are infamous for nickel
    and diming the hell out of small business accounts and having a good relationship
    with your banker can help get these waived. They can also help with emergencies –
    say your hard drive crashes and you don’t want to empty your savings for that new
    Drobo - your banker has the discretion to provide you with a “signature” loan – a short-term loan with no equity required. Generally these loans need to be paid backin a short period of time ( one week to one month) but they really help when you get in a jam. And when you go in to ask for one, or any banking favor, wouldn’t it be nice to know that your banker recognizes you, sees you as a valuable and loyal customer of the bank and remembers how polite and considerate you have been.

    Lastly – you need a CPA. Find a reputable one that you get along with but these guys
    get the opposite treatment of the banker – email them when you have questions and don’t pop by unless you are bringing cookies or muffins.

    A Life In Color

  • Free Advice on a Freelance Life – Part 1

    May 12th, 2011 / Comments (0)

    In the fast and connected times that we live, its becoming increasingly popular and
    financially viable to set up your shop in your home office and become a business.
    With your new-found freedom is easy to forget that you are a business owner and as
    much, are now responsible for much more than snazzy Photoshop files. Making that
    leap from staff designer to Big Kahuna requires more than a desk and the desire – it
    takes new clients and a bit of business planning. And so we begin a series of articles
    concerning all the condiments and side dishes that take your freelance burger and
    fold into a business owner picnic. The first thing you we would recommend you do
    is take a shower and put on some fresh duds – you’ve got a date.

    Date Your Clients
    Many of the keys to a good personal relationship carry over to your clients and
    vendors.

    1. Be a Good Listener
    Feedback is tough to take sometimes but hear them out.

    2. A Little Extra Goes a Long Way
    You’re a handy photographer? Project could use some better photos? Shoot a few. You heard them say something about needing some business cards but it wasn’t in the scope? Give it a shot. It’s always good to exceed expectations.

    3. A Nice Way to Say Thanks
    Maybe send some after all the deliverables have been handed over and everyone is happy. That’s the kind of stuff that turns a client into a referral machine.

    4. Being Thoughtful Makes Them Feel Special
    I had a developer fix some things while out of town, using a Paradise Bakery as an ad hoc command center. After the project was completed I sent him a little gift card for Paradise Bakery and it was much appreciated.

    5. Don’t Air Dirty Laundry
    New projects, bad clients, bumps in the road – keep that stuff to yourself. Venting to your significant other is one thing but you can never be sure who is going to hear (or read) your ill will and the hand that pays for those lattes is not the one you want to bite.

    And away we go. I hope you enjoyed our first installment, we’ll be back next week
    with a little advice on Freelancing Finances.

    - A Life In Color

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